So most of my blog entries have been more like an itinerary of what I’ve been doing and what sights I’ve seen, but I haven’t written very much about my thoughts and reflections of the experiences…I’ve just been writing all that stuff in my journal, but I thought that I might share some of it with you all.
I feel like when I return home to all that is familiar, I won’t possibly be able to explain this experience to someone. There’s so many stories every day, and so many thoughts every day. It’s almost like a really long retreat- not quite as spiritually refreshing, but similar to some degree- just different. It’s similar b/c it gives me time to basically think about life and makes me reflect on who I am, who I want to be, what I want to do with my life, what goals I want to make for when I return home, how I can better myself… It’s awesome how an amazing experience such as this can change your view of life (at least to some extent) and really open your eyes to the world. I really hope that some of the aspirations I’ve acquired while I’m here don’t dwindle away when I get back home. One of the most challenging parts to an experience such as this is to actually let it change you- to grow and to go home without losing or forgetting the growth you have gained.
It’s almost like my life at home in the states is on hold but for all of you it’s still going on and I feel totally lost like I don’t know what has happened with all of you! You guys get updates of me, but I don’t get many of all of you. When I return home some things will have changed. I can’t imagine if I spent a whole year abroad…I’ve only been gone for a little over a month! I’m sitting here at the café I always come to in the morning but it’s later in the day, and this time I’m sipping on an “espresso” not a “café au lait”. An espresso here is a straight espresso shot, and it’s really popular for people to order. It’s really strong and quite bitter but now I understand why they think our coffee is so watered down in the States. I had to add some sugar. I definitely prefer my café au lait or cappuccino, but this is less expensive.
I’ve been a bit overwhelmed about all that I still want to see because I’ve put off going to so many of the museums and other touristy sites, because I had so much time, but now…well I’m only here for another week and a half (a little more depending how long the fam wants to stay in Paris). I have had such a great time meeting people and the small little interactions and conversations are what I will remember the most. But of course, there are some must-see places.
My French has improved a lot. It has been pretty gradual so it isn’t as noticeable to me but when I think of where my French was when I first arrived and where it is now, I guess I’ve come quite a ways. Today I talked with some French kids and it was cool b/c we were able to understand each other and they probably didn’t know I was American– and if the did, I think they were too young to know many of the stereotypes and opinions of Americans anyway, but it was refreshing to chat with kids. Being away from home and from all of you would be so hard for a whole year but I really feel as though I could become almost fluent if I stayed all year. I finally had a dream in French the other night! I have heard a lot of my friends talk about having dreams where they were speaking in French and I never had one until the other night. I think it’s because I have been trying to think in French all day long, even more now than I was before- I’m trying to journal my thoughts in French (it’s really hard and takes a long time but it’s good practice). Unfortunately I wasn’t fluent in my dream, but maybe next time…
I can’t believe that I only have a week and a half left of class!! I have been enjoying it a little more because I’m getting to know the other students better, but I will still be very glad to be done. I think I mentioned this before but I wish it was more conversation-based b/c the days when we do get to chat more w/ other students, I improve significantly more and it is so encouraging. It really boosts my confidence and therefore, helps me speak in French the rest of the day. The days when my prof just lectures all day- those aren’t as fun or as helpful. Yesterday our prof paired us up (she never lets two students w/ the same nationality work together) – and I was with a Japanese student named Yaoko. She was really sweet and after we finished what the prof instructed us, we just kept talking in French and getting to know each other. It was so cool. I wish we had the opportunity to do that more. After I left class yesterday I ended up talking with another French person for quite awhile and I was proud of how long I could talk with them for. But days like today- my prof lectured about really complicated grammatical stuff- she was explaining lots of verbs that almost mean the same thing (like come, go, enter, go out, come back, return, reenter, exit, leave…) some can be interchangeable, and others can’t. Then if you want to say the same thing in past tense it’s a whole different story! And of course there are exceptions to everything!!! Man, it exhausts my brain to even think about it- I’m not looking forward to tonight’s homework assignment.
It’s really neat to see and experience the unity in the classroom because there is so much diversity and yet we are all at about the same level with learning and speaking the French language. Except the Spanish kids pick it up so fast and seem to comprehend better because their language is similar to French. I’m a little jealous. We are all able to communicate and bond together. Pretty much everyone can speak English and they all have said that learning English was soooooooo much easier than French. It’s funny to see all the different dictionaries for the different languages.
Oh yea and I also wanted to explain some of my spelling errors…haha. It’s really difficult to constantly switch back and forth between French and English because there are many words that are spelled and pronounced so similar but maybe only one or two letters different (like apartment – appartement, or chocolate- chocolat, return- retourn) so in many cases they both look correct to me. Especially now since I’ve been trying to write and journal more in French. Then when I really think about it or I catch it, I feel silly- like I’m back in 1st grade or something. When I type in Word and copy and paste my entries I can usually catch most of them, but sometimes I type straight onto my blog. So anyway…just had to explain that. ;)
